August 31, 2016


i have been avoiding my blog like the plague

ETHANDUNE.  ||  I'm in an enormous rut with this book right now.  The past month - two months - have seen almost NO progress on this because I've been in a kind of emotional tailspin trying to sort myself out, + poor "Ethandune" has received very little mental attention - and what attention I've given has proved nearly fruitless.  Sorry that this is bad news!  The bad news bears are in town.

MONOCHROME + MINIMALISM.  ||  Pretty much all of my energy (+ there's not much of it) has gone into my house.  I've been culling, cleaning, overhauling, + planning so I can get my house to the monochrome minimalism that I want it to be.  Basically ALL of my mental energy has gone here - and not to "Ethandune."  Bad news bears. 

i realize this may seem bizarre to most people.  i'm SUPER strict about my monochrome + minimalism, + everyone else gives off a vibe of confusion + bemusement when they observe me.  i sorry.  this is me.  with very few possessions + all of them some shade of white or grey or black.  thank you for letting me just be me.

THE BABY + ME.  ||  Those of you who are on Facebook + Instagram know, we're having a baby boy!  Because I was a chucklehead + deleted my ovulation calculator after conception, so I completely forgot the date of my cycle, my due date is still kind of up-in-the-air + a matter of guesswork for the ultrasound technician.  Sometime in early January is our guess (the 10th?? they guess the 10th??).  But you'll know when he arrives, trust me.

i'm five months in + i am already feeling like i'm in third trimester exhaustion.  nooooo.  i have had to increase my anti-depressant due to pregnancy hormones, + that's shot my insomnia up to teeth-gritting levels.  i beat it down as best i can, but there's only so much i can do/take while pregnant.  i sorry.  this is also me.

THE ACTUAL PENSLAYER BLOG.  ||  But I do have GOOD news!  I am currently contracted with Hannah Rose Creative to completely overhaul, rebrand, + redesign my poor little blog.  I tell you what, how awesome is that??  It will be several months before you see the outcome because Hannah is super nice + is taking her time so that we can make bite-sized monthly payments for the package (so grateful!), but I've already got a taste of her work for me + I'm really excited to keep honing the process to a final design.  MAYBE THEN I'LL ONCE AGAIN FEEL LIKE BLOGGING. 

there's good news + bad news.  but hey, at least you know i'm not GONE-gone.  i'm just hiding from you.  XD  here's hoping some time in the future will see better progress on "ethandune" + i can once again pore over my computer like a maniac trying to get the plot down just so.  thanks for sticking with me! <3

images via pinterest

July 19, 2016


I've been largely MIA on most of my social media sites (except instagram + pinterest), not wholly due to ragged health, but mostly because a) I'm horribly stuck on Ethandune, so I'm not usually sitting at my computer nowacurrently with the internet open, + b) I'm caught up reading "The Heir of Redclyffe" and can barely put it down.

But - good news! - I have inched forward in the Ethandune rewrite, enough to give you some bites to chew on.  You all have totally better things to do with your time, but I do not, so here we go.

ethandune snippets

But the truth was that, in that moment, I was terrified of Dammerung. One was always a little terrified of him, but just then all the terror was uppermost and I wanted to back down into a run and hide like an animal from him. His finger began tapping on the arm of his chair, and a cold spell swept over my skin.
ethandune

“Well, that’s something,” replied Dammerung cheerfully. He got up, and, looking down at her, added, “We’re not all bad. I won’t say we’re easy, but we’re not all bad.”
The flame licked back up in her narrow vixen face, like the side of a spear-head turned into the light. “I won’t say I’m easy either, but neither am I all bad.”
“Pax,” he said, and held out his hand.
She shivered among the bedclothes until her arm came loose, and she took his hand, like a lady; but I noticed their knuckles turned white in their grip before they let each other go.
“Pax.”
He turned and went past me, and Aaron too, and as I stepped backward to shut the door I tried to avoid her gaze, but somehow got caught looking back at her across the distance: a small, sunk thing with narrow, brilliant blue eyes odd-glistening and unaccountably angry with me that I was watching her.
ethandune

“Plenilune,” said Dammerung quietly—odd, how his voice could carry when he wanted it to, without seeming at all to raise the volume—“is it not mine to do with as I will?”
ethandune

I gathered up the shaking, tumbled [goat] from the snarl of briars, lifting it to the mass of furs over my chest, but as I attempted it, the little thing suddenly spooked as though struck by an electric current, squealing in my arms and nearly hurtling back to the ground as I shrieked and struggled to grasp it.
“Hold still—hold still!” I cried. “Where have I hurt you?”
In the weird moongloom I saw it crane back its head to look at me with one eye—and that eye, rolling, rolling, slowly backward to my face, stark-white and stricken mad.
“Sh-h-h-h-h-h…” said a ghost-wind from the wood. “Don’t shout. You’ll scare the poor thing.”
My arms slackened and the kid fell in a lifeless pile to my feet. In the great black arch of the wood-mouth, into which the overgrown track ducked and vanished in an instant, there was first a rustle in the air, as of dry leaves shivering in a funeral breeze—a sudden, huge sense of a body there, looming toward me—and then I could see it.
Two rows of shining teeth and canines like a tiger’s, coming toward me in the darkness. No head, only the teeth smiling, smiling like they would laugh at any moment. Then a nose materialized, first with black holes for its nostrils and white with bone, flooding over with a dark skin only a shade paler than the night. The eyes jumped out at me in two sudden silver flashes, throwing twin bars of glare across the dark, and then the whole thing had come full from the woodshore before me, horse-big and horse-shaped, without it ears and without any muscle on its frame to hide the gaunt outline of its bones.
“Boo, little bunny.” 
adamantine

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